Finding Myself

Sometimes I wake up in the morning, wash my face, look in the mirror, and wounder....Who am I? And sometimes I sit on the porch and have a smoke to wounder...does anybody else feel the same as me or do they wounder what I wounder? Who am I? What is my purpose? Why am I here? Everyday im here trying to search for myself and who I am. I am Kevin. That's how it starts and that's ho it ends. Sometimes I wounder what the purpose of life is for. Why are we even here. I already know that the biggest oponent and competition in life is youself. I already know that the only real promise in life is death. I already know that only you can make something out of yourself. And I know for a fact that finding yourself is the hardest thing to do. To be able to define and find yourself. All the facts. I'm sitting here listening to instrumentals and it makes me think. About life....family...relationships...future....and past. Not many people may think about it or care...but I bet if they tried to....they'd be just as lost as I am right now. Maybe reality has caught up to me. Maybe my family has gotten to me. Maybe my girlfriend has gotten to me. I dont know....But I do know....I've gotten to myself. The things I say or do. The things I want and need. Its come to me now. Slowly and very confusing but it's getting there. I just wish there'd be a great big book with all the answers. Im in need of one. Dont we all need one? We all see the future and have some sort of answers on how to get there. But what we lack is the answer on how to really get there. What steps to take and what moves to make. For example...We all see the light at the end of the tunnel. Or the big and complete picture of our future life or what we want. But we dont know what to do after we pick up the brush. Do I paint the house first? What color should I use? Or should I paint the sky first? Is this even the right brush to use? Do you get what I mean? We see it there but dont really know how to get there. Everyone has dreams and hope and faith. It's what keeps us gong when all else fails. But how do we actually get there. It's for us to find out and determine. Nothing is ever how it seems. I'm still trying to find myself each ad everyday. Become more than I already am. Obtain and finally have the whole picture painted. When will that be? Who am I still? And by then will I know who I am?