Always Here For You...

Have you ever told anyone that? That you'll always be there for them? No matter what? And if so, who? And did you or..were you...always there for them? Well I have. I've told someone that before. Said I would always be there for them through thick and thin no matter what happens. And I mean it. I mean... I'm a man of my words and if I say something that I'm serious about, I will hold on to it. And I would expect you to too. Now, I know that that is a really big promise to hold on to and I know it would be hard to rely or be able to trust someone that much, but... you can't just immediatley say no and not give it a chance. Because it might just happen and you might just've lost that chance. Well...I told someone that a while back before. No names but I will refer to that person as "MENTHOL" and why that name? Because I love my METHOLS haha. Anyways...(clears throat) back to the story. I told Menthol that I'd always be there for them. Menthol at first was unsure of how to answer but after a couple seconds Menthol did. Menthol knows how much I feel about em but Menthol was still unsure and not certain to the fact on my word. I mean...I made many promises to Menthol before and I've never broken a single one before, so that kind of made me like..."wtf"? But I'm very understandable and I kind of sort of was like...eh, ok. Haha. But then everything turned around for Menthol and shit just went bad. Everybody scattered like Godzilla had rose from the waters of the ocean or something. Like King Kong broke out his monkey cage and went Donkey Kong. In other words...Menthol was like Godzilla of Japan and like King Kong for New York. Everybody ran away and tried to leave em alone. But me, I stuck around. I told Menthol that I would not leave. That I would ride and die by Menthol's side. To me... Menthol was like "yeah, ok. Thank you for being there and not bailing like everyone else" Yeah, that was alright and whatevers, but then I go to find out Menthol is claiming to be alone and have absolutely NOONE in Menthol's life. Clearly stated in writing mor ethan once did I come accross that Menthol claims to have "no" friends, family, or significant other. Now...Did I not tell Menthol and promise Menthol I would always be there? No matter what? Through thick and thin? Did I not? And aren't I still here? Have I left? Have I ever gone back on my words? NO! I have not. It "might" be alright for Menthol to feel that way. But keep i to yourself. I mean... Maybe I'm just trippin about it and getting all butt hurt over nothing, but...I mean...wtf? Do you not see what I'm doing? What you mean to me? How much you mean to me? My love for your dumbass? Do you not believe it? If so, why not? Sometimes...I feel like fine...you want to be alone then go be alone. You're seeing yourself as if you are anyways. Go be alone. Yeah, I know I'm an asshole and that aint the thing to say or do but I'm just like "aaaahhhh". Seems like what I'm offering isn't being seen or felt or appreciated. But Im a humble person and a relaxed person and I dont care. Haha. I'm complicated. Even if it is or not appreciated, I have been and will continue on doing what I do. Because it is my word and my word is good. I'm going to continue on being there for Menthol no matter what.



I hated using Menthol as the replacement name. I couldnt use he or she because that would hint it and who the person could or might be. Haha, it sounded wack but whatever. Bottom line is...Don't make promises you cant keep. Promise less and just do. I'm always here for you. Point Blank. Time for a Menthol HAHAH

knuckle up or shut up

Alright, today I went to the liquor store to get some smokes right? I came out and had a smoke. I leaned on the hood of my car and smoked when I heard some fools talking around the corner. I heard one of theguys call the other guy a certain name. I thought it was someone I knew. So I walked over there and was like "who the fuck are you"? I know it wasn't the right way to approach him, but I though the was someone that I wanted to beat. He replied back with attitude and said "who the fuck are you and that's none of your business". And so on... So I was like "so whats your name again"? And he sad it was Tuan. I thouhgt it was the fool who messed with my girl awhile back, but then I remembered he lived in Eastside so therefore wtf would he be doing here in my neighborhood? Right? So I threw my smoke aside and turned around and he thought he could talk shit and be hard while his homeboy was there. I honestly couldnt care. So as I turned around he told his boy that I was a punk ass bitch. Now me...Dont challenge my manhood because I know damn well I aint no punk or no bitch. So I turned around and was like "come again"? and I took off my jacket and he thought they'd do two on one. WE started swinging left and right then his boy came in and knocked me on my ass. I hopped right back up and backed up against the wall swinging at both of them. I knocked his boy down off the curb and i guess he tripped so I rushed foward ad kicked him dead in his face. Then that Tuan guy came rushing at me and in drove a car. I rushed him back to the car and he kinda threw himsefl ontp the hood of the car a I pounded on him repeatedly. I missed a couple times and hit the hood of the car and the lady came out threatening to call the police. So I got off of him and grabbed my jacket and went to my car and went home. Now Im sitting here with my right eye all swollen up and it hurts to blink. I iced it with some frozen bacon and my girl sat there lookin at me and just laughed at me. It's close to being swollen shut and I got a bit of green under my eye. But I dont give a shitt. I won.



I hate fools who act hard and talk shit only when they got people around. Basically like a show off. And I hate people who talk shit but dont do nothing and people who talk bt dont walk. So I got words for you fools who think you're this and that and talk smack. If you dont want a confrontation and you know damn well you cant handle it... Then simply SHUT THE FUCK UP. Because one day you are going to come accross the wrong person "me" and you're going to get your ass shutted up. Be humble. Knuckle up or Shut up.

I MISS...

Today, I woke up and had a smoke. Thought about me and her for good time. I missed all those times spent with her...Late nights just chillin in the car or walking around the block hand in hand, fingers between fingers. Or just holding her in front of me and staring deep into her eyes to have her lean in and kiss me ever so gently. I miss the long nights at the beach walking the long ass pier at O.B. Again...hand in hand and fingers between fingers. Used to bump and nudge her as we walked and kiss her cheek tryna kiss up haha. I miss holding her at 4 in the morning till the sun rose to watch the sunrise at the beach with her. I remember promising her the sunrise. We were already at the beach waiting for it then I realized the sun was going to rise at the other beach so we drove around from beach to beach to find it. San Diego has many beaches haha. Then we watched the sky light up, slowly turning bright orange and red as I held her in my arms and kissed her soft lips gently brushing mine against hers and embracing her presence. Nights with her felt like time slowed down and it allowed us to spend every waking moment with one another. Many nights were like that. Always so out of this world and stress free. Reality seems to fade off into into the background and at that very moment...it seemed like nothing else in the world mattered or even existed but me ad her. Let's not forget valentines day when I got her a dozen of her favorite flowers(lillies) and her favorite chocolate(ferrero rocher) in 2 different sizes in a heart shaped box tied with a ribbon. And to top it off...a lollipop wrapped up like a rose and 11 heart shaped red balloons with one massive music playin ballon on top of it singing a love song to her. I had all those things with me at 8 in the morning and waited for her to get home at midnight just to give it to her. *sighs* The things I do huh? Haha, well....it was worth it. Just to see that adorable smile on her face and her star gazing eyes sparkle up. I miss being able to do things like that for her. I miss making her feel special and happy. I miss her point blank.

Just Me

My name is Kevin and this is my first blog. Why did i decide to start dong this? Well...Because i like writing and talking to people. And maybe some of the things i write here can help and apply to some people. Well...it's now almost 1 in the morning and I'm sitting here writing this blog. If you're woundering why, I'll tell you later, but right now I'm going to just simply talk about myself for a bit. Well...at first impression I may just seem like an asshole or just another thug out there in the world, but I'm not. I mean, I get it all the time from people i meet whether at school, on the street, a partY or whatever. I may look like one but I'm not. Looks can be decieving and what I learn is that you should never judge a book from its cover because the story inside may just be one of the best stories you'll come accross. Fact is, I'm just chill and laid back. Yes, I do smoke and I do drink. I'm just me. But one thing about me that people hardly know is that i love to write. Whether if it's just writing about random stuff, stories, life, lyrics, or poems. I love to just play an instrumental, usually slow piano and a good r&b type of beat and just write away. It's a good stress reliever. I'm very understanding and very calm but when I have to I can get loud and you know...flip everything inside out. People always say I can either be your best frind or your worst and I agree. Hey, I get along with everyone well so if there is a problem then it's you and not me. Now, that's just one side of me and how I am. Now let's talk about relationhip.



Ok.....Ok....I'm a sucker for love. I'll admit it. I can be an asshole at times or...just about half or more of it, but most of it is just because I like to mess around and joke that's all. I like to play fight, nudge and make jokes, but right after...I'm kissing ass haha. They always tell me that I'm a good listener, always there, got a good sense of humor, caring, and what not. I'm not saying much more, but it's for you to find out what kind of person I am. Am I in a reationship? Yes, I am. Have been for about 10 months now. And that is the reason why I'm still up at 1 in the morning. Not because I'm talking to her, but becaue I'm thinking about her and I just can't sleep. Because you see... It's just complicated between me and her.



We're like the modern day romeo and juliet. No joke. Everyhing is just against us and don't get me wrong; I love the fuck out of this girl. Unconditionally. To start off, I'm going to start with her side and story. Her family is Vietnamese and I'm Hmong. Now, they dont get along "supposedly" and her parents "forbid"" her to be with me. Not just that, she got set to kentucky to go stay with her brother. Now she's no longer here in san diego, but we're still working things through. They took her phone away, no chats to talk to me through and so she has to work her ass off to find ways to communicate with me. Her brothers hate me, all 3 of them and they want to beat my ass, but they never come around to doing that because of whom I am. But anyways, to the point to make it short. Her family basically crossed her out of the family picture and said she betrayed her family and so on. She was sent to sleep in the basement and everything. This started because of a $400 phone bill a week ago or somthing. I guss you can say it was caused by me? I offered to pay, but she said no. Now...When I look at things, I love her too much to see her suffer and go through shitt like that. Because of me they treat her that way. Because of me her life is left alone in the dark. I don't want that life and that struggle for her because I went through it and I know how it is. Never depending on noone and never taking a helping hand even if it was offered and just being INDEPENENT. It was hard for me and I don't want to see her go through the same situation. So I told her I was going to do what's right and let her go. It was for the better. For her happiness. Yes I know she wouldn't be happy losing me, but overall...family do come first and I respect that. I would never come in between. So, I've been sitting here thinking, not being able to sleep, and just having a smoke once in awhile, just to get things to a solution and draw everything up to one final conclusion. But it's like...one giant puzzle in my head that I can't put together because I dont really know what to do, how to act, and how to feel. I love the girl and I want to do what's right. But is it right for me to just up and leave? Is it right for me to make our relationship work "no matter what"? So, what is RIGHT?